On October 4, 2013, my mom of 92 years passed away. She was a good mom and friend to me. But dealing with her death before the holidays is heavy. But there are steps to deal with the loss and grief. I thought I would share some here.
Now there are counselors, doctors and therapists available to help someone through grief. But they can be expensive and may not be effective. I read that cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective for grief. So much would depend on the therapeutic framework the therapist follows. And doctors would prescribe the pharmaceutical firms latest medicines.
Online bereavement support resource groups are there. They are a step beneath real support groups, you can attend in person. There is an article entitled Best Online Support Groups for Grief and Bereavement at Bereavement support. It describes three good ones to check into. Grief Share does have meetings at churches throughout the US (see Grief Share), But I found the site Open To Hope at Open To Hope interesting. If you join their email list, you can get a free book entitled “Fresh Grief” with 35 stories of loss and recovery. The stories are good, because they deal with coping mechanisms folks have used.
We can look at alternative medicines for grief, anxiety and depression.
- In homeopathy, there’s an article entitled Shock, Grief, Trauma and Homeopathy at homeopathy and grief. But I would add Bach Flower Rescue Remedy to the mix.
- Tibetan Herbs at Tibetan Herbs has a couple good remedies called anxiety support and happiness support.
- Active Herb has some good Chinese herbal remedies under mood support at Chinese herbs.
While I’ve mentioned online bereavement support groups before, it’s better to find local groups in your area. You can contact the reference librarian at your local public library, the country health department, the local hospital, or your local church, for some leads. Or you can just search Google or Bing for hits. I found a Lutheran Church that runs one all year long, as well as one done at a retirement home. Both are open to folks outside the church and retirement home.
If you grief is bordering on suicidal thoughts (fortunately, I’m not that bad), then you should contact a local crisis line, as well as talking to any clergy member you know and your family physician. It could be that a person needs therapy and/or medication. I think the best therapeutic model is the cognitive behavioral therapy. I’ve also found studies that engaging in Buddhist Insight Meditation (also called Buddhist Mindfulness Meditation), has helped many people therapeutically.
For me, what helped was engaging the hospital Chaplin on duty, while my mom was in the hospital. Not only are they good for the sick person (I believe that coma patients can still hear what’s going on), but they help folks visiting the patient. I like to put my mom on Catholic shrines for Saint Jude and Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal. I’ve also requested prayers for myself from Protestant, Catholic and New Thought sources, to help me copy with grief and heal.
- Bereavement full (slideshare.net)
- Grief and Bereavement (shahnasays.wordpress.com)
- My mother won’t stay still long enough to mourn my father’s death (theguardian.com)
- The Ethics of Grief (ethicsbeyondcompliance.wordpress.com)
- Holiday Grief Support Resources (ididnotknowwhattosay.wordpress.com)
- Coping With Death (lifeinsurancequote.net)
- Service a chance to share grief (nzherald.co.nz)
- Donna Terrell’s Special Report: Exploring Grief, Pt. 3 (fox16.com)
- 15 Things I Wish I’d Known About Grief (identityrenewed.com)
- Dealing with grief (newsinfo.inquirer.net)